Funny Categories:

Funny Beauty Porn Videos

Vampires fight Zombies in futuristic South Dakota.

"Where's the firewood?" you ask.

"Beside the backpacks," he replies. You turn around and yes it s there, but you didn't hear him put it there. This bloke is strange, and bloody spooky too.

He strolls up and past you to the backpacks, almost silent in his movements. He reaches into a backpack, rummaging around for something. You step back wondering if you've made the mistake of your life and come camping with 'Freddy Krueger' or not.

He pulls out a frypan .. your fears ease. He puts butter in the pan reaches for a some rocks on the ground. He pulls a knife and with his back to you starts working away, swearing from time to time. Your fear comes back.

This is definitely not good, you think.

Ten worrisome minutes later, he places the pan on the fire. He stabs his knife into the ground and turns to you.

Oh Jesus, what have I got myself into here?, you think.

He rises and says, "Sorry about being away so long. I just wanted to surprise you with fresh oysters cooked in butter. But I guess me bush skills are still rusty and I made an racket."

He steps toward you and you meet together with a close embrace and he says, "I hope you weren't worried. It's just that I feel at home out here, that's all. And I do hope you'd never think I'd deliberately scare you or leave you in any danger."

You hug him tighter, thrusting your breasts tighter to him and tell him that "He's a right bastard for making you worry."

He kisses you long and deep. When he finishes kissing you, you know he is aroused. But instead of kissing you some more, he turns to the fire and pulls the fry pan off and gets two forks.

"Here you are beautiful. Oysters lightly fried in butter and I sure hope you like 'em". (Is this a ploy he uses to seduce women?)

You try them and decide to reserve your opinion. But none-the-less you thank him with a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.

You finish eating, and you think "Here comes the big seduction move".

He gets up. Reaches over for and gets the fry pan, plates and forks and starts off into the night. You call him before he gets out of the light of the campfire. He stops. You ask "Where are you going?"

"Just doing the washing up, the stream's only 8 foot away, and I know you'll be safe."

He goes off and does the washing up. This time you aren't worried - you can actually hear him now.

Your curiosity is aroused. What is it with him? First the wandering around, then the oysters, and now doing the dishes?

Any normal bloke you'd be fighting off by now. Well trying too anyway. You would not be sitting around feeling like so much extra baggage.

I mean you know he's aroused, but he just goes off anyway? What is his angle? Will he make a move on you now? Or will it be later when you don't expect it? Or god forbid is he gay?

The uncertainty has got you concerned, because you don't know if you'll have to resist or not? Is this some sort of game that you've never seen before?

He comes back from the creek wiping the dishes and forks on his shirt. "Sorry forgot the towel, so old habits will do I guess."

He puts the pan, the dishes and forks back into the packs. He then moves both backpacks into the tent.

He comes out of the tent. Now, here comes the come on.

He sits down and turns toward you and starts to speak. Here comes the spiel. The big move, the whole reason for all his efforts.

With a subdued voice he asks "May I ask your permission to do something?"

"Yes" you reply, with some hesitancy.

"Would you be deeply offended if I asked for a quiet kiss and cuddle with the night and setting being so romantic and all? ... And don't worry I won't assume more or try anything more."

"What?" you exclaim.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." and he starts to get up.

"Hold it." you say, dragging him back down beside you.

You explode.

2019 © All Rigths Reserved. All models were 0ver 18 y.o.