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Girl goes looking for it, and it finds her.
.. for... for the most part," she explained, running her other hand along Talos' chest.
"Mm," Talos mumbled. He was attempting to be unreadable, which was impossible. Alanna felt his sympathy.
"The curse is that an empath will always be drawn to one side of a coin or the other. Either she will be sympathetic for the sea of thoughts around her, and you know, actually care for the world, to try to make it better for those following in her footsteps... or... she will grow numb to it. And use her powers apathetically. Like..."
"Rayya. Yeah," Talos interjected gruffly.
"Yeah. And I really wish I had the book before, when I was first going to the College. I can only imagine what good it will do for new enchantresses. But... anyway," Alanna cleared her throat, then pushed herself into Talos' chest. She felt his heartbeat, then one of his hands rising to her back to hold her close. She sighed happily.
"Anyway, regardless of the path an enchantress wanders down, she will always be consumed by sadness and regret. It may take two decades, it may take ten. In the past, enchantresses fought this by exiling themselves from civilization. To live on their own, a-and to read no thoughts but her own. And, it works... but... that isn't me, you know? For all it's faults, I appreciate what the world has to offer."
Get on with it, Talos thought impatiently. Alanna nodded into his chest, only listening to his heartbeat for several courage-building moments. Her heartbeat.
"We're bound, Talos. I own you completely, just as much as you own me. The solution the author presented to combat the inevitable depression spiral was to... rewrite part of a merged mind with your own, then do the same to yourself with theirs. It allows us to share..."
She looked up at him with a smile. "Everything, Talos. My soul is yours to play with, as yours is mine. The bonding allows us to share the negatives of life, as well as the positives, and with that... I can be free. I can stride the world and feel its pain, without feeling its pain myself, because I'm you. It's... hard to explain. But I can only do it once. And I chose you, for no matter how much I despised your actions I would not allow myself to do anything else."
He should have pushed away from her with the admission. Wanted to, even. To do such a thing without his knowledge...
"I know, I know," Alanna continued. "It was wrong of me. But would you have ever said yes?"
"No," Talos replied immediately. "Absolutely not." He didn't release her from his grasp, either. "Can you reverse it?"
Alanna's eyes widened in shock. She could...
"At least... try it. Part of my mind is yours, Talos. It should be as easy to recall as your own memories."
Talos coughed. He didn't have one crumb of information on how to do it, but gave it a soldier's best. After a minute of silence he sighed, and looked down at Alanna once more. She was staring brightly into his eyes, with a wide smile on her face as she held him tightly.
"Imagine... I know it's crazy, but imagine you're me. You're a sorceress with twenty years of age who just had a beautiful child with a man she cares deeply for. And he came back to you, o-on his own accord even. You were so... worried for him that even your tired mind could not sleep for days, but now he's here, holding you in his arms..."
Alanna teared up, pressing her face against Talos' chest again. She shook her head as her hands gripped his arms feebly.
"And all you want to do is cry, knowing he's one step away from walking out that door forever."
But you hope with all your being that he won't.
"I'm... sorry, Alanna. I won't believe you," Talos said coldly. Alanna reply was muffled as her face remained embedded in his chest.
"Just try it, please..."
"I... did," he replied after a moment. "I feel nothing."
Alanna nodded enthusiastically, then