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Our new playmate and my wife do Miller.
A big part of me would gut him like a fish, without a second thought... and yet I also knew that my master intended on using my hatred against me. If I was going to please him, I would have to give up that part of myself for him. I don't expect anyone to understand what was going on inside me, but it was so very real.
I let my head draw back, taking a deep breath, letting the situation draw me in. Anybody that has ever submitted to another knows exactly what was happening to me. I was drawing the strength from him, to submit myself to him. The walls were coming down and I was looking forward to what tasks lay before me.
"Bitch is stalling dude." It was the short, ugly nigger becoming impatient."
"Shut up asshole or I'll rip you a new one." Leonard was direct and out of the corner of my eye I saw him move between myself and his friend. As if to acknowledge the action I felt my fingers unbutton the button of my blouse. I turned my head and looked over my shoulder at my new master. I saw him smile a wicked grin that made me both warm and self conscious. I continued to unbutton my blouse. I was warm and I was no longer responsible for what was going to transpire. I think he knew that as well.
I removed my blouse and turned around facing all three men. I was still wearing my bra. Without removing my eyes from Leonard I reached behind and unhooked my bra, letting my breasts fall free. I heard his friend whistle at my embarrassment.
"Wow, would you look at them titties!" It was juvenile, it was obscene, and yet if it had come from "him" I would not have felt the humiliation that crawled across my skin. I could feel my face turning red. I couldn't look him in the eye and yet I despised his insipid little friend, so I turned and looked at Brad. His face was stone, I swear I could see drool coming out of his mouth, and yet I didn't recognize him. It was like I was out of my body, yet I knew where I was... on a journey to subspace, barely conscious of who I was or what was happening.
A lump formed in my throat as I reach for and unbuckled my trousers. It was like there was an echo in the room as I pulled the zipper down and without another thought pushed my pants down past my knees. There was no need for humility now, I was past that. There was no hesitation, I stepped out of my pants, underwear and all, and stood before them naked. My stomach was tight, I needed something but I didn't know what. I suddenly became aware that my eyes were tearing. It was worse knowing what I must look like, crying like a baby, standing in front of three men, one I despised, one I wanted the worst revenge on, and one whom I could refuse nothing. And all I could do about it was cry, I felt pathetic.
Leonard came over to me. I turned myself and looked into his eyes. It was fire, it was lust, it was demands, it was control. It was everything. I felt myself shake. He grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked my head backwards, never looking anywhere but into my soul.
"You are?" he whispered in my ears.
"Yours." I hissed back.
"And you will refuse me?"
"Nothing." I didn't mean it, I hoped he didn't expect it. My brain somehow reflected on how quickly things had transpired in the last ten minutes. Again I started to cry. I don't know if he thought it was from fear or desire, and I didn't know myself.
"Are you wet?" How could I lie, I knew he would find out. I knew I was and somehow I have never felt more humiliated by the betrayal of my own body.
"No." I lied, I knew I was going to be caught and a part of me knew, wanted and craved the eventual punishment I knew was coming to me.
His finger drifted between my legs.