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Sara cannot stop her compulsion.

People would think she did something wrong and was asked to leave instead of leaving the Holy Order of Virgins voluntarily.

She scolded him as if he was one of her disrespectful students who accidentally or deliberately touched her breasts. She rebuked him as if he was her date who bought her dinner and/or took her to a movie and now expected her to give him sex. Not a prude, whether it was accidental or deliberate, she had been touched more than once by a hand reaching through a crowd on the street. Yet, nothing more than a passing, quick, desperate grope on a crowded bus or subway train, she had never been sexually touched and felt in such a disrespectful and sexually abusive way since she became a nun.

Suddenly, with him awakening the sexual beast that lay sleeping within her, even though she was a virgin, she felt ridiculous to say that she was a virgin and a Sister of the Holy Order of Virgins. Suddenly, with him awakening the sexual beast that lay sleeping within her, even though she was a nun and a Sister of the Holy Order of Virgins, she felt wicked. She felt horny. Seemingly now, she sexually wanted him as much as he sexually wanted her. Only, she couldn't do that. She took a vow of celibacy. She was married to Jesus. Just as she could never break her vow of celibacy, she couldn't throw her life of hard work, dedication, and devotion for sex.

She looked at him as if he had physically hurt her. She looked at him as if he had stabbed her heart with a knife instead of trying to part her full, pink lips with his slimy, snakelike tongue. She looked at him as if he had tried to rape her when he parted her ass cheeks through her habit and through her panties with his fingers. She looked at him in the way she looked at all men from her sexual past who were unable to take no for an answer when she told them that she wouldn't go all the way. She looked at him as if he was the Devil instead of a priest.

Only, with him indeed her priest, she expected more respect and more self-control from him that what he had shown her. At the very least, she expected him not to sexually assault her and physically brutalize her. She expected to feel safe in his presence when alone with him in the rectory and in God's house of worship. She expected him not to touch and feel her in such an inappropriate, unwanted, and uninvited sexual way. How dare he?

Yet, even though he was her priest, reverting back to the sexual woman she was before becoming a nun, she treated him in the same way that she treated all men who wouldn't take no for an answer. Being that she was married to Jesus, especially since she was married to Jesus, she looked at him as if he had just sinned against the Catholic Church and against God. By daring to sexually and inappropriately touch and feel her, he was not only breaking his vow of celibacy but trying to make her break her vow of celibacy too.

How dare he temp her to break her vow of celibacy. How dare he break the 7th Commandment, Thou shall not commit adultery and the 10th Commandment, Thou shall not covet thou neighbor's wife. Now, with her no longer thinking of herself as a beautiful woman, she thought of herself as a Catholic Nun. Instead of thinking of herself as a sexually desirable woman, she thought of herself as a Sister of the Holy Order of Virgins. She thought of herself as one of the wives of Jesus Christ, our Lord God and Savior.
Now instead of thinking of him as her priest, she thought of him as if he was a sexual predator and he was.

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