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On a drive with hubby, Holly's marriage gets adventurous.
There's nothing to be embarrassed about," she tried in the moment to comfort him. It was a tough sell. She knew how humiliating it must have been for him. But honestly for her, in a strange way, it was kind of flattering. It was like a confidence boost as a woman and as a mother to learn that her son liked her brand. It was a perfectly good brand, after all. A strong-smelling, healthy, dark aroma.
Lana giggled again. Derrick saw that and if it would have been possible to turn a deeper shade of red he would have, but because it was not, he looked away and tried to excuse himself from the table.
"No, don't go, baby. You have no reason to be ashamed," she said unconvincingly.
"I'm a freak," Derrick muttered before bolting from the kitchen to his room.
Lana spent the better part of the rest of the night convincing him to leave his bedroom. She coaxed him by offering to make him the saltiest, most buttery popcorn in the house and to watch one of his insufferable action movies with the abs and the explosions and the hot chicks with him.
They were cuddled up pretty close on the couch, the popcorn bag almost empty, the movie more than halfway through, when Lana made a small mistake. She was snuggled close to her boy, her butt practically in his lap when it accidentally slipped out. A high-pitched, wet fart.
Lana had rarely been more mortified in her life. She made quick apologies and scooted away from him on the couch. Derrick didn't react very much and accepted her apology just as quickly as she'd made it. Lana's embarrassment was beginning to fade when the smell hit her nostrils. The fart hadn't been just for show, it came out tinged with the strong odor of her bowels.
She turned toward her son ready to apologize again and offer to pause the movie when she saw based on his expression that she had nothing to apologize for. It was clear that Derrick liked the smell. He couldn't prevent himself from taking extra sniffs of the foul aroma in the room, even as he tried to pretend it had no effect on him. Lana smiled and cuddled her warm, curvy body back against her baby. Derrick was discovering that he really did love her brand and Lana was discovering that she really didn't mind it if he did. The feeling was nice.
A few days later it was Friday and Derrick's half-birthday. He'd been excited all day at school because his mom always made him a great dinner and got him one really good present on his half-birthdays. But today he got home only a few minutes after his mother had returned from work. She whipped up something quick for them for dinner, not the big meal he was expecting.
Toward the end of the meal he confronted her about his half-birthday.
"Oh, I'm sorry, baby. I forgot. Things have been so wild at work this week." Lana rubbed her head with her hands.
Derrick didn't want to make too big of a deal of it even though he was hurt. "That's all right," he said. "So you didn't get me a present."
"No," Lana said sadly. Then a light bulb flashed in her head and her mood lifted. "I take that back. I do have a present for you! It's been warming up in the oven at work all day." She stood up from her chair and smiled.
"What?" Derrick asked, turning with confusion toward the oven which was very clearly off.
Lana walked right in front of her boy, in the direction of the oven, so that her butt was in his face. From that position, she ripped a loud, smelly fart right at him. Derrick felt nonplussed at first. The disgusting fragrance from her gas hit him hard and was very disorienting. Lana laughed happily at her gassy explosion. The thick, rich odor of his mother's perfectly-functioning bowels finally become clear to him and the smell was wondrous. Derrick's stomach growled and his mouth salivated. It was like waking up on an empty stomach to the smell of bacon sizzling. Last year she'd gotten him the hottest game system on the market for his half-birthday. This was much better.
"Too strong for you?" Lana laughed wickedly.
Her playfulness put him at ease whereas a few days ago he'd have been embarrass