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His college story continues,

nd you love this person?"

"With all my heart," Paula said. "Don't you love Noah?"

"That's different," Sarah said, "Noah is my fault. I got him into all this." She thought for a moment. "No," she thought, "that's not true, is it? There was Eve, and my sister, and the little lizards ..."

"Eve?" Paula was stunned. "She never told me."

"Ask her, dear. Did he come?" Sarah was too confused by Paula. She needed to sort out details.

"Did who come?" Paula was confused now also. There were so many different sex acts under discussion that she had lost track.

"When my husband was rubbing you, or fucking you, or touching you, or whatever he was doing to you, did he come?"

"Maybe," Paula conceded. "It got a little more urgent, you know what I mean? Sarah, I'm sorry, I should have stopped him. It was stupid. It was like a little private joke, you know."

"Up your ass," Sarah said, and Paula thought it was a curse. She started to flush with anger. "Up your ass," Sarah repeated, very thoughtfully, "he could have gone up your ass from that angle."

"That's where he was rubbing," Paula conceded.

Sarah did something unexpected then. She set her babies down on the pew, and took Paula's head, pressed to hers, and kissed her. The smaller girl was shaking, more with fear than with desire. Sarah pulled broke the kiss and whispered into her ear. "You let him touch you." She felt Paula nod. "You made it easier. You spread out your legs, you shifted to make sure he was in the right place."

Another nod.

"That was all," Paula whimpered, "that was all there was to it."

"He never went in?" Sarah asked.

"Not really," Paula sighed. "What difference would it make? Maybe, right at the end, he was getting too close, and I broke it off, okay?"

"Maybe you were a little late?" Sarah was crying now.

"Maybe I was a lot too late. Sarah, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. This world has corrupted us, corrupted me."

"Eve was doing a good job of that, even before we found the transit station," Sarah said.

"Yes," Paula sighed.

"I met a woman today," Sarah said, "I think she is a holy woman. She told me that if we lose sight of the light, if we stop striving for the light, even for an instant, we are lost."

"That's what I believe also," Paula said. "But sometimes I blink, you know?" She paused. "Sarah, I'm so sorry. I kept telling myself it was nothing, nothing, not to worry about it, just shrug it off. But it was something, wasn't it?"

"I don't know," Sarah said, "if it wasn't in the tabloids ... but now, Goddess, I look like a fool. Karen told me that the whole time she was married to H'raak the papers there -- they still have real newspapers there, printed on real paper, did you know that, anyway they just made fun of her, how she couldn't control her husband. I don't know, I just feel so humiliated. And you did it right beside me, Goddess, you were touching me, we were nipple to nipple." She stopped then, remembering suddenly how Laura had been brushing her on one side, Paula on the other.

Paula saw how intently Sarah was looking at her. "My offer of lunch stands," she said.

"I would love to have lunch with you," Sarah said. "But that's all. That's all I want." But her eyes betrayed her.

"What are you going to do now?" Paula asked.

"Do now?" Sarah shrugged. "I'm going to sing. After that ..."

"What did Noah say?"

"He said he was sorry. He's always sorry, so sorry. He's training again, did you know that?"

"You let him?"

"Mary and Lydia convinced me it was very urgent. There's a delegation from Nirvana coming and they are looking forward to fucking the little wonders they sent us."

"You should teach those kids how to bite their dicks off." Paula was in a cold fury now.

"Oh no, they'll be treated as honoured guests.

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