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Is Nora reading too much into Sophia's touches?
An all-too-familiar purple and green roadster was parked in front of Boobsicle Girl's building. "The Stroker's already here," Batman said. "We must use our heads, Dildo."
"I wouldn't mind using your head," Dildo replied.
"The ones at the top of our necks!" Batman snapped. "Focus, Boytoy Wonder! Boobsicle Girl has been a great ally in the ongoing fight against crime in Gotham City." And in Batman's own ongoing fight against horniness. "We can't afford to lose her to those criminals!"
"All right, all right." Dildo climbed out of the Batmobile. "So what do we do?"
"Kick down the door, take down the criminals, and save Boobsicle Girl, of course."
"Uh huh." Dildo considered it. "You deal with Boobsicle Girl. I'll take care of the criminals."
The heroes ran to Boobsicle Girl's apartment door. Batman knocked, but received no answer. "Stand back, Boytoy Wonder," he ordered. "I'll have to break it down."
Kapow! He slammed his shoulder against the door. Fortunately, in this part of the city construction was flimsy. It only took a few hard thrusts of Batman's shoulder before the door burst open.
The Stroker stood on the other side with four armed thugs. "Welcome, Caped Crusader," he hissed. "We've been expecting you. You're too late to save Boobsicle Girl, but we have special plans for you. Boys, take them to the bedroom!"
Two thugs grabbed each of the heros and dragged them toward the bedroom. Dildo struggled. "Batman, aren't we going to fight them?"
"Not yet, Boytoy Wonder. We want to see what's happened to Boobsicle Girl."
The bedroom door was open, but a curtain hid the bed. An ugly, stooped man stood at the foot of the bed. "Batman," he said. "It's an honor to meet you. I'm StrapOn, the mastermind of this plot."
"I'm the mastermind!" The Stroker snapped from behind the Dynamic Duo. "You promised!"
"All right, all right," StrapOn said. "Don't get your panties in a bunch. Batman, take a good look at your crimefighting colleague. I doubt she'll be interested in helping you or her precious Commissioner anytime soon."
The thugs released Batman and Dildo, and one pulled back the curtain, revealing Boobsicle Girl, naked as the day she was born, with a large strap-on protruding from her pussy. "No more men," she chanted in a monotone. "Only toys. No more men. Only toys."
"You villains!" Batman exclaimed. "What have you done to her?"
"The same thing we've done to the other women of Gotham City," The Stroker said. He held up a video tape. "When the women watch this tape, they're instantly hypnotized into ignoring all men. Then they try the strap-on we include with each tape. It's treated with a special chemical that causes the women to want to continue masturbating forever!"
"You idiot!" StrapOn said. "Why are you giving it all away?"
The Stroker shrugged. "It's what I do."
"No wonder you keep getting locked up. And you wanted to be the mastermind?" StrapOn looked at Batman and gasped. "What the...?"
"What is it?" Batman demanded.
Dildo pointed to his crotch. "Holy erection, Batman! You forgot you were wearing your crotchless Batsuit."
"I did, didn't I," Batman mused. "That's good. I think I know how to break the hypnotic spell these villains have placed on Boobsicle Girl."
"You won't get close enough to her to try," StrapOn informed them. "Men, take out this trash!"
The thugs tried to grab the Dynamic Duo again, but the heroes fought back. Kersplat! One of the thugs went down in a heap against the wall. Kerclunk! Two others' skulls were smashed together. Kacock! Dildo's foot met the final thug's crotch.
That left only StrapOn and The Stroker. "Give up now, and we'll go easy on you," Batman said. He unclipped the Bat-talkie from his utility belt and tossed it to Dildo. "The red button will summon the police," he said. "They'll know where we are."
"We'll never give up!" StrapOn announced.
Dildo pressed the button.