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Sharing one's virginity is special and memorable.

One tabloid reported in the headline: "Young women make my life tick"

Another: "I just gave him what he deserved"

I don't know why I went out and bought that erotic magazine. I had never dreamt of buying shit like that. I found magazines like that sickening.

The interview was awful. Mr Olson ranted on about the fate of being "an alpha male in feminized society" (!). I still remember quotes like:

"In business the guy with the biggest balls wins"

"He got what he deserved - no less, no more" (about the young journalist)"

"It's not about age, it's about mutual sexual attraction"

"I don't have much patience with people who behave like jerks"

"I am still one of the best martial arts fighters in this country"

"In many ways I am a freak of nature. Take my sex drive, it has been the same for more than 50 years"

"I happpen to have what young women want - and I happen to know how to use it"

"Sexual ecstacy - what's wrong with that, isn't that we all crave?"

The interview was a deliberate provocation and it was disgusting all through. I'm glad Ellen never read it.

I felt soaked when i had finished reading it. I hadn't felt so embarrassed in my whole life.

But somehow the shame also seemed to be on me. I read the interview over and over. The entire time I stroked the biggest hard-on of my life. For reasons I don't know - and don't wish to know - this stuff turned me on like crazy!

I stumbled to the bathroom. When my come finally splashed into the sink I had conjured up some really hot fantasies of this geriatric stud giving beautiful young women some glorious samples of what his huge member could do. If I hadn't held on to the wall I surely I would have fallen to my knees...

- But Ellen.. there is so much shit being written about this old guy...How can you trust someone...

I struggled to be spesific. I got nervous and stumbled over my words. I became diffuse. And I didn't want to tell about the stuff I had read - and hopefully she hadn't. I got mad at myself for not being able to explain in rational way why working for Eric Olson was improper.

- He's just a creep! Can't you see? I simply don't want you to work for him!!

Ellen sighed again.

- I can understand your position, Christian. But from the impression he made today I believe his conduct is some kind of business strategy. You know... the tough guy who loves to scare his competitors shitless. Obviously, he is also focused on disclosing hypocritical structures in our society. Some people - for reasons I don't fully understand - seem to be born to a mission of provoking others. Which in itself isn't necessarily a bad thing... so many people in this country prefer to be part of a massive majority. People like you and me are so damned conventional and meek, Christian! He is the opposite. He's courageous and adventerous.

I gave her a puzzled and grumpy look.

- You sound like you are impressed.

- My point is.. he must know that most people will find his stunts... disgusting. It takes balls to challenge convention and go against public opinion like he does. It's so easy always to be politically correct.

"Takes balls..." I had never heard Ellen speak like that. Her face had turned scarlet. Her voice sounded irritated.

- And anyway - if I want to become a psychologist...a good one, I need to deal with all sorts of people. Also people who - for some reason or other - behave in ways I find outrageous. Even people who seem to enjoy to be disliked. That's so far from us, Christian. You and I are so uptight and polite... and toothless... in everything we do. Sometimes I feel that you and I are the most boring couple in the world.

She went quiet.

I felt awful. My mind continued to wander. To some pictures we saw about a month back. Ellen and I were waiting at a train station. Ellen had picked up a gossip magazine someone had left behind, a really vulgar one. We turned pages and giggled at all the silly, meaningless stuff. How could people spend money on something like this?

And suddenly... Eric Olson is in my face again.

Mr Olson had at this point becom

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